It’s National Infertility Awareness Week. It took us three years, about $30,000, some serious battles with hormone-related anxiety and depression, and a lot of heartache to bring a baby into our family. Our society doesn’t talk openly about infertility, but I think we should. Also, I miss my tiny one-day-old C.
I’m lucky to have a memory that doesn’t hold on very tightly to hardship. The heartburstingly glorious wonderful joy of living with C has obliterated any remnants of the pain and suffering it took to get her here.
I’m glad glad Shannon is willing to share our story. We were lucky to have good jobs, generous parents, and understanding employers throughout our fight with infertility. I had to leave work at unexpected moments, but I never had to worry about losing my job. We had to go into debt, but it wasn’t crushing. We are very privileged. Infertility could have been so much worse for us. I know it is for so many.
(We also had a great doctor.)
I’m bothered that the only reproductive health policies we ever talk about are those that force people who don’t want – and, therefore, probably shouldn’t have – children to have them. Meanwhile, thousands of people who desperately want children are left to suffer, usually alone, wondering what’s wrong with them.
This is not to say that I think we should look to government programs for a solution to infertility, but I do think we’d do well with public health policies that recognize the importance of helping children be born into families that want them.
Staycation was a huge success. We did no chores. We ran no errands. Or at least when we did, it was because we wanted to. We ate out a ton.
Recap:
Thursday night: cocktails at Prohibition, a really nice and not-sceney speakeasy downtown. Then dinner at Bice around the corner.
Friday: Breakfast at Bread & Cie. Amazing quiche and whack lattes (as usual). Got sandwiches to go and took them to the zoo after C had a Dr’s appt and I had a call at work.
We spent the afternoon in heaven on our deck and then met Lee and Terra at Buona Forchetta for dinner. I’m afraid my expectations for Buona Forchetta had been too high. It’s lovely, but I have yet to encounter any pizza comparable to 2 Amys in DC. The tiramisu was amazing though.
Saturday: great breakfast of toast, poached eggs, tomato and avocado at the Lofty Cafe in Encinitas. Got their famed salted caramel latte, which tasted like the best ever coffee ice cream melted in a mug. It was too much for breakfast (note: learn to make salted caramel latte ice cream). Shannon got a flat white, which will be my go-to from now on whenever I deviate from my usual (americano, black).
Spent the rest of the morning at Dog Beach, which is the best place C has ever been. She was in heaven.
Got tacos on the way home. Ate them with a Stone IPA in front of the TV, watching Magnum. It was amazing.
We walked down to the Fish Shop later for dinner. C had a ton of fun running all over the place. Walked home, put C to bed. I went out and got us shakes at Mr. Frostie’s. They made us feel gross.
We tried to find a movie to watch, but nothing looked good so we watched The Mindy Show, which is amazing.
Today: breakfast at Espresso Mio in Mission Hills. It’s a nice little local spot that does flat whites and has the best coffee shop art collection I’ve ever seen (I know that’s not saying much, but it was really nice). We sat on their tiny patio that hangs over a canyon. I ate a blueberry maple bacon pancake cupcake.
I’m done with desserts for the rest of the year.
We walked around the beautiful neighborhood for a bit and headed home. C fell asleep in the car. I fell asleep reading the New Yorker a little after we got home.
When we woke up we went to Fathom Bistro for lunch. I got the Explodo Dog, which is a baja-style bacon-wrapped hot dog with kimchi on it. It was great. The owner of the Green Flash brewery was there and he bought me (and anyone else who wanted one) a west coast IPA. What a cool dude!
We went from there to Lee and Terra’s and from there, to Station. C had a blast playing with everyone’s dogs and in the kid’s area. We drank and ate tater tots and salads and sweet potato fries.
Headed home, played with C, fed her, bathed her, read, went out for too-embarrassing-to-blog fast food, watched another Mindy, and are now reading (blogging) in bed.
It’s been the best. We live in a very nice part of the world, but – despite that – life insists on normalizing itself and seeming unremarkable. It’s been nice to flip a switch in our brains to tell ourselves we’re on vacation.
We ate things we don’t normally eat, we stopped worrying about things we normally worry about, we saw friends we don’t normally see, we read more than we (or at least I) normally do. It’s been a beautiful three days to spend entirely with my girls.
pictures forthcoming
We’re on staycation. We had the house cleaned yesterday, stocked the kitchen with goodies, and are eating all our meals out.
We went to the zoo this morning.
We spent the afternoon on the deck playing bean bag toss, reading (me: Dune, Shannon: Wool), eating chips and guac and cheese and crackers, drinking margaritas, and playing with C when she wasn’t playing at her water table.
Tonight, we hired a babysitter and left to meet Lee and Terra at Buona Forchetta for amazing pizza.
Now we sleep.
I'm Jed Sundwall. This is my blog, which you can follow on Tumblr or via RSS. You can talk to me on Twitter.
